Why would they? That's the traditional notion from before. I hear that in the traditional Chinese conception, women lived for their families. When they were children, they obeyed their fathers, and after they married, they obeyed their husbands, then whenever they had sons, they continued to obey their sons.

My father's a big guy, to get there would be quite a bit of effort for him. I wanted to go instead, but he just wouldn't let me. I just had to give into my insistent father. I looked over at my father, in his black cloth cap, black knee-length robe and dark green cotton-padded jacket, teetering his way toward the railway and lowering his way down there, which wasn't too difficult. Yet, the difficult part was climbing up to the platform after crossing the tracks. He tightly placed his hands on the top of the platform, shrinking back his legs, his heavy body tilted slightly to the left. The sight was of a many trying his very best. As I took this scene in, looking at his back, my tears rushed down my face. I rushed to wipe away my tears, afraid of being seen by him, or by any others. When I look out again, he was already on his way back, carrying those bright tangerines.

In the recent year, both father and I have been very busy with work in separate parts of the country. The family finances continue to deteriorate day by day. When he was young, he left home to make a living. He had achieved so many great things all by himself. Who would have imagined his older years to be so disheartening. It is no surprise that as he looks back on his life and feels sad and dispirited. These circumstances made him very temperamental and every trivial matter at home made him angry. He started to treat me differently than he did before. After these recent two years of separation, however, he finally forgot about my failing and started to showing interest and tenderness to my son and I.

It's been over two years since I last saw my father and the picture that has been burned into my memory is the silhouette of his back. That winter, my grandmother passed away and my father was let off from his job. Those really were times where bad things came in pairs. I travelled from Beijing to Xu Zhou to meet up with my father, so that we could travel home together to attend the funeral. When I saw my father in Xu Zhou and the house in totally disarray, memories of my grandmother came flooding back. Tears stream down my face. My father said: "It is what is is. There's no need to be sad. There's always a way out."

When we got to Nanjing, a friend showed us around and we stayed for a day. The next morning I had to take the ferry to Pukou so that I could catch the afternoon train to Beijing. My father had business to attended to so we had decided that there was no need for him to see me off. Yet he still asked a waiter he knew from the teahouse to go with me. He gave his detailed instructions to the waiter again and again. Yet, he still felt uneasy, worried that the waiter wouldn't do the job properly. He mulled over the situation, still unsure of what to do. I was actually already twenty that year, and I'd already travelled back and forth to Beijing quite few time, there really wasn't anything to worry about. Yet, he was still hesitating over what to do. Finally, he decided that he would see me off himself. I tried to tell him several times that he didn't need to come. He just kept saying: "no bother, it's no good them going".

Once we got home we sold our possessions, so that father was able to pay off the debt. We then had to borrow money to cover the funeral costs. Those were darks days for our family, partly because of the funeral, and partly because of my father's unemployment. After the funeral, my father planned on seeking work in Nanjing and I needed to get back to Beijing for school. We decided to travel back up together.

Look on it as paying back my late father for promoting you back in the day. I'm begging you, please help me. I don't want to get banged up!

Li Shu, don't be like that! Don't go! Aren't you letting down my late father with this attitude?

I'm letting him down? You should think about how you're letting him down by behaving this way? You've completely destroyed your father's good name.

Li Xiao's father recently spent five days in the hospital and suddenly passed away. Because of an unsatisfactory explanation by the hospital, Li Xiao attacked the doctors and blinded one doctor in his left eye. We interviewed the hospital and the patient's family about this incident.