What if there was a Chinese Version of "Ask Amber, guide to Western Culture"?

I asked my practice plan teacher, Vera, about this very subject. I wondered if young Chinese girls also hope to be rescued by their prince on the white horse, experience love's first kiss, and live happily ever after. Her answer was yes, they do. Chinese children do read Hans Christian Andersen stories and Grimm's Fairy Tales. But I'm sure they also have their own batch of favorite stories.

Could some one please help me with my manderin! Please! feel free to talk to me! or message me! I need help! Thank you! and please talk in Pinyin because I'm not good with symbols yet. THANKS!!!

ar typos!

Speaking of Santa Clause being fake (which his note!) What fictional Chinese characters are there?

谢谢，甜芳 ^_^

excuter and henning

粉丝originally means a kind of noodle in Chinese. And now it is a very popular word in entertainment industry, which means "fan".

Danke, Henning ^_^

excuter,

yes, it is indeed a transliteration of "fan".

是一个翻译吗? 是"fan"的意思吗?

甜芳,

对不起我不懂 "粉丝" (glass noodles?) 。。。^_^

excuter,

哈哈，看来你是《越狱》的超级粉丝哦！^_^

Rich,

Santa Claus is fake!!!哈哈，孩子们会失望的！每逢圣诞，天真的孩子们总是期待着圣诞老人能够带着礼物出现在他们面前。

wei1xiao4,

Nothing is impossible. There is a chinese saying that 学无止境，活到老学到老=never too old to learn. Don't care about the age, just enjoy learning Chinese and Chinese culture, you will find it is wonderful.^_^

I thought of another question I have gotten, "Who do you know who is famous?" And a favorite one from my dear friend Tracy, "Can you really make $100,000 US dollars a year cleaning up after movie stars dogs? I can do this job."

Casie, yes, my son is learning Chinese. He's much better than I am. Younger brains absorb things faster. It is so frustrating when you get older and you realize that your brain does not work the way it used to! So learn as much as you can now. And I think you are correct. No matter what the culture, the luckiest children in the world are those whose parents value education and pass that on to their children.

Next thing you know, you're going to be telling me Santa Claus is fake too........ waaaaaaaaa.....

(p.s. I think he could have easily broken out of the prison without the tattoo... he needs more confidence)

(the tattoos are fake...but realy cool)

( 越狱的男主角 )Wentworth Miller aka Micheal Scofield

http://bilder.rtl.de/p2/2007-10/3085935/3085648.jpg

甜芳对不起我不知道gossip girl但是看起来是cruel intentions (I like the German name of that movie "Eiskalte Engel" icecold angels) 的样 http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0139134/

wei1xiao4,

Do your daughter and son learn Chinese too?^_^

If so , I guess you set a very good example for them.

Casie, my daughter who is about your age, really loves this show also.

wei1xiao4,

Thank you for your reminding. I watch this TV series for fun and I just addicted to the pure American pronunciation. Althought this story is mainly about those teenagers who live in the upper east society in New York city, they have rich family and study in private school, etc. Yes, I agree with you that some of them are really bad, I saw many bad examples from this TV series, such as teenagers with alcohol, drug, sex and some risk games. I did wondered that is it common in the real life？ However, I did found some good examples. Dan is a very excellent boy and he still pursues his dream and did not change himself although he has no rich family and studys in a private school. You know what, I saw something in common between China and the US.(I think it is common in this world.) That is parents are all care about the education of their children. They work hard to support their children education and give their all to children. Same here. Parents always望子成龙，望女成凤,which means parents expect their children to be outstanding people in the future. And also I found common things about the growing pains. ^_^

My husband has jet lag, my practice plan is on vacation, I don't know what to do with myself. I must be addicted! Yikes!

恭喜weixiao! You are on top of the MAU! You even beat out bazza! Wow!

Sorry I just made a big mistake. It was the OC, which takes place in California. Dawson's Creek is in North Carolina, I think. Anyway, my friend loves the teenage angst series. She says she can follow them more easily because they are usually about love.

Casie, Gossip Girl is a very popular new TV series now in the US. Please remember that it is just a story, I hope most teenagers are not this bad in real life. I had old copies of a US TV series called Dawson's Creek that I lent to one of my Chinese friends. She kept asking me if everyone in California was that rich and lived in those amazing mansions. The answer is no.

henning,

你很有幽默感，只是我的英文不好，所以没有办法理解你的笑话。我还记得上次changye的幽默笑话我也没有理解呢，多亏了excuter的帮忙我才知道。我还是要更加努力的学习英文，这样才能和大家更好的交流！

excuter,

你肯定是越狱迷，我还没有看过越狱，不过我听说那男主角很帅哦^_^我最近是在看美剧gossip girl,我很喜欢里面的演员，我超级喜欢里面的美音，很好听很pure.你知道这部美剧吗？

甜芳^_^

越狱肯定是个最好的电视。^_^

但是"Andromeda"比"Star Trek" 更好，还有"South Park" 很难看。 ^_^

没有幽默感的我还能开玩笑吗?

"星际旅行"绝对不是我的最喜欢的电视剧。。。不过我承认是我最喜欢的电视剧之一。。。

具体来说星际旅行甚至不是一部电视剧。

是五部

加十部电影。

Brent谢谢你的鼓励，我会继续努力的！

Rich,

谢谢你，我之前确实没有明白henning的笑话，我只知道Star Trek 和South Park应该是电视剧，但是不知道是什么内容的，谢谢你解释给我听。

"Lost" 和“越狱”确实很火，在中国也有很多人看哦！

Casie:

I'm guessing you didn't get the joke about Star Trek and South Park, as I know when I make such jokes Chinese don't get them. They are just western TV shows, Star Trek taking place in space on space ships (you've probably heard of it) and is Henning and Changye's favorite show from what I gather. South Park is a cartoon about some misbehaved kids that is totally unreal, but kind of funny despite its crude humour. And that's all I have to say about that...

(I still think "Lost" and "Prison Break" are completely accurate in how Westerners live... our lives are completely controlled by an Island, and we all have broken into prison to rescue one of our family members at least once or twice a year...)

bjer, I love the "white" question also. I am whiter than most white people, so I'd get that one. Many Chinese feel that white skin is beautiful, so when they ask "How are you so white?", I think they want to know how to get their skin so white!

Questions I've gotten:

Why do you laugh so loud?

Why aren't you smiling in your picture, you're American.

Why do you eat your fruit cold?

Isn't your life (and America) exactly like American movies? (I get this one A LOT)

Who does your hair every day for you? How much do you pay them? (b/c I wear it in more than one style)

How are you so white? (this is my favorite one, my answer being... "Well I'm a white person") Maybe Americans are perceived as being always tan or something.

Why do your parents want to get rid of their children as soon as they turn 18?

Why/how would you pay for your own education?

How could you work and go to school at the same time?

How could you date/marry someone your parent's didn't approve of?

Hundreds more... (=

jamestheron, Chineseblast was really interesting for me from a learning Chinese standpoint. It was great to be able to see the large hanzi script, the pinyin, and the translation. Good tool. Thanks for the site. Of course, the sentiments were harder to swallow as an American, but not necessarily too far off the mark.

I feel a little guilty with self-promotion, but you might like to know that my podcast lessons in Brazilian Portuguese (Ta Falado) are based on the cultural observations that Brazilians have about life in the US. Some are pretty neat.

http://tltc.la.utexas.edu/brazilpod/tafalado/

Cassie, thanks for your explanation! Feel no shame....you expressed it quite well (I know it's a very complicated thing). By the way, your English is getting really good. 加油！

To change the subject from dating for a moment, I recently came across this transcription of the Princess Remy podcast with a question/observation from a Chinese about European and American relations.

Fortunately it's translated to English well enough here, so everyone can follow here.

http://www.chineseblast.com/node/74

Hi bennyboyk,

"henning says

April 29, 2008 @ 06:47 pm

casie,

TV series and movies do not necessary portray the real world. Except for maybe Star Trek and South Park."

Hahahaha!

???

"henning says

April 29, 2008 @ 06:47 pm

casie,

TV series and movies do not necessary portray the real world. Except for maybe Star Trek and South Park."

Hahahaha!

Dear Amber: milk and sugar in tea, what's up with that?

Brent and wei1xiao4,

I am sorry that I don't know how to express those complicated things about the policy to you in English! "sigh" I just can try my best to tell you somethig that I had known. About the planned parenthood计划生育ji4hua4sheng1yu4, as far as I am concerned, it is related to marriage law! Our government encourage晚婚晚育wan3hun1wan3yu4,which meas to marry and give birth late. And also优生优育you1sheng1you1yu4,which means provide good prenatal and postnatal care. And to those couple who have only one child that our government will give some priorities in some aspects, such as allowance after retired.

I feel shame that I can not express it very well to you guys and help you to know more about it.

Very interesting topic about dating and all that. Even us Westerners/Americans can learn from all this culture talk. Would be interesting to hear more from European PODdies on how their childhood "dating" games compare. I am living in Europe now and seeing the differences more and more every day (especially after being in France) of the difference in "openness" that Americans compared to Europeans have.

As for Jenny's comment on dating but not boyfriend & girlfriend, I am wondering if she is even refering to adults. While I myself have never been good at just asking a girl on a date for the evening, instead always getting to know a girl as a friend and then becoming bf/gf, it does seem many people get set up on dates to go out, but never becomes a bf/gf relationship.

So I am not exactly sure what type of "dating" you are referring to Jenny, but even in China I have known many Chinese girls be set up on dates by their parents (and thus the Chinese boys were set up as well, but seem to only hear about this from the girls) to go out with these guys to see if they are compatable (knowing they can't force marriage anymore). So in China dating without being/becoming bf/gf exists. However, I don't know how common it is for a girl or boy to ask someone out on a date themselves, rather than having their parents or a match-maker do it. And they seem to feel after the date that they should consider a relationship with who their parents had them go out with, even if they don't really like the guy.

Oddly, due to a wedding I will be going to when I arrive back in China on June 13, I found out that a former Chinese teacher and friend will be attending the same wedding (quite a coincident actually) and so I asked her to be my date for the wedding. My question is how careful I need to be asking out a Chinese girl on such a date, as I know it could mean something more to her than to me!

Yes, several of the people that I know in Shenzhen have more than one child. They also said that they have to pay extra taxes. I would also like to know more about this, Casie. Casie, did you know that in the US, you get a tax deduction for every child you have? Unfortunately, it would be impossible to raise a child with that allowance.

Cassie, that's interesting. I've always wondered how the one child policy works. Would you explain when having a second child is permitted? I know that if you have twins, that's obviously okay. But I didn't know you could pay a fine and it'd be okay.

rjberki,

说的很好！

wei1xiao4,

I have a younger brother.我有一个弟弟。

He is 22 years old and just one year younger than me!

他22岁，只比我小一岁。

My parents had to impose a fine since they had my younger brother at that time. But I think it is worth, I am glad that I have a younger brother.

Well said, rjberki.

We can learn so much about ourselves by learning about others. You can only mature globally if you are willing to look from the viewpoint of another. We are taught so many things as children as if they are absolute truths but in fact they are arbitrary choices. I think it is important to recognize this if you ever hope to reach the age of reason. To think maturely.

That is why you are so special for your parents, Casie.

微笑，

I am glad to know that you have a son and a daughter.一儿一女is very good!

Here in China, people think that a son and a daughter is perfect!^_^ But nowadays, our government's policy is to encourage every family has one single Child.独生子女政策du2sheng1zi3nv3zheng4ce4

Umm... "effects" in my first sentence should have been "affects". Darn. Without an edit function on this site my bad grammar persists for all the world to see!

Grumble!

I think that the "dating" we do in America from a very young age probably effects very greatly how we think of relationships throughout our lives. I dated my first "boyfriend" when I was eleven. In truth, the boy was someone I had barely met, and never spent any time with. When we "broke up", it was merely an acknowledgement that we were not and never would be actual friends. He was a boy, and had boy interests. What could an eleven-year-old girl find interesting in that? "Dating" was a ritual we used to show ourselves and the world, (and most importantly our friends!) that we were no longer kids, though we definitely were still kids - and we knew it.

Personally, I know I never had a romantic or sexual thought at that age, though I knew that should be coming soon. I wonder how different it would be to begin dating with actual interest... without the experience that dating may be no more than a social game.

Casie, Brook makes some very interesting observations. Being the mother of a 17 year old son, I must say that in the US the "pairing off" starts rather young, maybe in junior high school. The girls usually divvy up the boys and decide who is interested in whom. The boys really don't have much say and are probably not as interested as the girls at this point. When the two actually let it be known publicly (usually through the grapevine) that they are interested in each other, they are "going out". The funny thing is that, at this age, they are never really "going out" at all. They may eat lunch together at school, maybe arrange to run into each other at the mall, but there is no real dating involved.

In high school, this is when the dating begins, and as Brooke says, it is more like "serial dating". A couple may date each other for a few weeks until they find out they don't really like each other as much as they thought at first. Then they move on to the next. During this serial dating they often say "I'm going out with so and so" but it is rarely a long term commitment. If it is, they say they are "going steady".

In college and after the more serious dating begins. A girl or boy could, conceivably, date several people at the same time(although this is not that common) until they find someone that they want to be exclusive with. That is when they become boyfriend and girlfriend. I know it is complicated. But my daughter, who is 23 year old, recently announced that the boy she has been dating for several months is actually her "boyfriend".

brent, henning and brook,

Thank you for your detail explaination! I am glad that I have you guys who can give me the correct answers that I need.

Casie - I would agree with what the others have said about movies and dramas not always being accurate. However, being not *too* long out of high school and knowing others still younger than myself, there is definitely a "dating game" that is played, especially by girls, in America. It starts in elementary school (yes, I can remember girls playing it when I was only 10!), and continues well into high school. I lived in many different areas during those years, so my experience is not confined to just one school district.

I never really liked the game, but here's how it goes: Girls talk amongst themselves about who the cutest boy in their school is, who among them has the cutest boyfriend, etc. Then they plan together how to help each other get the boyfriends they really want. They may only "date" a week before moving on to the next guy, but doing all of this makes them feel very grown-up and mature. I remember girls trying to get me to date guys just because they thought we would make a cute couple. So yes, the game is played in public schools quite often.

In colleges, however, things change, and in adult life we're certainly not all like the dramas. Hope this helps!

lunetta,

at first it was inconceivable for my wife that I went out with friends for a beer only (and nothing to eat). Or even worse: Invited friends to our appartment only to have a coffee or drinks together (e.g. a neighbor who is an old friend of mine). She still considers that unacceptable.

I had an interesting conversation with my Chinese friend during our usual Saturday meet-up. She's trying to learn Danish and had do one of those fill-in-the-right-word exercises for her next class. She had gotten most of the words right but didn't really understand what was going on in the text which was a dialogue between two friends.

A asks B what he's doing that night. B answers he's going to clean and cook because he's having 14 guests on Saturday. When A hears this he offers to help with the cooking and cleaning and they agree to meet up Saturday morning to do the shopping.

The first thing my friend asked me was why B didn't invite A to the dinner as well. She was expecting B to do this and because of this she had trouble filling in the right word in certain parts of the dialogue.

It made me think as well. To me it seems natural that you can meet a friend and talk about a party he or she is not invited to for some reason but she seemed really surprised.

Oh my, didn't realize I was babbling so much!

Cassie, I think your question is a fairly common one from Chinese...."Why so many young Americans treat love as a game?"

I am basing the following on Taiwan (which I'm hesitant to say is a little more Westernized than the mainland), so these parallels may not be the same for mainland China.

First, I have to agree with Henning and say that the TV you see about the West is a generalization, and is not a true representation of most Americans.

Second, I'm not so sure that the West (I'll say the U.S. since it's what I know) is *that* different from anywhere else in the world, when it comes to dating and love. I think maybe we are more open about our relationships, and sometimes (maybe too often) we hang our "dirty laundry" out for others to see. Many things that Americans would discuss openly, would be taboo to talk about in China (even in private).

I would agree that Americans probably say "I love you" too casually, but in terms of playing games, cheating, etc., I would say *most* cultures are fairly equal in that respect.

I know that many college-age Chinese don't date at all. I respect that and think there are some great benefits to it. At the same time, I think it could be a hindrance to a young person's social growth. Like most situations, there are pros and cons to each side.

Again, I'm basing this on people and experiences I know from Taiwan. I know that many young people there "play the game"....I know that many people there (usually men) cheat on their spouse. I'm not saying that this is right, I just don't think there are big differences (in general) between the East and West.

I do think that China has a better value system when it comes to family, but at the same time I think that Chinese have a tendency to bury issues and keep things secret (i.e. cheating spouses).

Hope I haven't offended anyone...not my intentions. Just my thoughts based on what I know about the U.S. and Taiwan.

The important thing is that we learn from each other. The East and West have many cultural gems to offer each other. Many Americans are ignorant to the rest of the world - as an American, I'm thankful to be learning about such a rich culture as China.

RJ,

About the word“道歉”which means apologize in English, Chinese people take it very seriously. The word道歉is more formal than 对不起. People will use the word道歉if he or she did something really bad or something bad caused by him or her. For example, 由于产品的质量问题而导致消费者权益受损，厂商必须向消费者道歉并做出一定的赔偿。Due to the quality problem that the producer shoud apologize and do some compensate since it is harm for the consumer.

But for对不起, people often use it in daily life. For example:

对不起，我迟到了。I am sorry for being late.

对不起，我误会你了。I am sorry for misunderstood you.

对不起，我今天很忙，没有时间和你聊天。I am sorry that I am very busy today and have no time to chat with you.

And 对不起also mean "Excuse me" in some content.

对不起，请你大声点好吗？Excuse me, can you speak loudly please?

对不起，我能借用一下你的电话吗？Excuse me, can i borrow your phone for a second please?

casie,

TV series and movies do not necessary portray the real world. Except for maybe Star Trek and South Park.

Differences in laughter and apologies have been mentioned but no one has elaborated. Jenny? Any comments on these (then I will explain casual dating to you). It seems the Chinese are afraid to hurt someones feelings. That should not be an issue here - we are asking for what questions come natural. How can that be a bad thing? I do not take myself so seriously that any question would be hurtful. It is what it is.

wei1xiao4 and jamestheron,

yes, you are right, I should say it is funny!

Okay, here comes the question.

为什么那么多的美国年轻人把爱情当游戏呢？

Why so many young Americans treat love as a game?

I am not sure is it true, but I saw many examples from the movies and seriese TV programe.

wei1xiao4, where i live has lots of asian students and theres actually signs in the cubicles asking people not to put their feet on the toilet sets. I'm told it has been quite a problem in the past.

How can you be dating but not girlfriend and boyfriend? That intrigues the hell out of us.

sophie:

I wondered about that, too. It is always hard for us closed up Germans to understand why in the US everything is "just wonderful", "marvelous", and "lovely". It takes a while to adjust your coordinate system.

i'm very interested in that question "Why do Westerners (Americans) say "I love you" so much (easily)?" ha ha .who can give me the answer?

Casie, it is funny you should say that. I heard a similar question from my Xi'an guide when she found out that I lived in Hong Kong. She said she had heard that Hong Kong people will eat anything and wondered if it was true.

Back to the toilet issue again for a moment...sorry. But when I went to Macau to visit the new Venetian Hotel and Casino, I definitely saw footprints on the toilet seat in my stall, which lead me to believe that this western toilet had been used as a squatter. Since Macau now has a lot of visitors from mainland China, I wonder if they find western toilets less hygenic. Maybe "Ask Amber" could give them a few tips on the best way to use a western toilet hygienically.

It was very funny when my dad was in China last year when he told the Chinese family he was with that he has 8 kids (more then one marriage), and they were completely shocked, very funny.

Outside of China? Where is it? I have no idea about that.

Casie, if the question is genuine, no harm will come of it.

Even I eat flies.

See what I mean, toilets are always a crowd pleaser in westerner discussions.

Here's another possible topic that I experienced. I was the only westerner in a group of Chinese, well traveled ladies who discussed the best place to get authentic Chinese food outside of China. Many top cities around the world were named and discussed at length. Can you guess their favorite city for Chinesefood outside of China?

Wei1xiao4

Very interesting thread.

Yes, there are many culture differences when we do intercultural communication. As a Chinese who learn English, I definitely have a lot of questions about western culture. But sometimes I will be cautious to ask questions. I know questions will hurt people sometimes. Once I was hurt by a foreigner's question that he said "I heard that Chinese people eat everything, so do you eat insect? do you eat ant?"

Any French around here to point out that toilets are (or at least used) to be like ceramic holes in the ground in France as well?

If you want to pamper yourself with a maximum loo experience go to Japan: heated seat, flushing water from all angles, music etc.

calkins, yes, it took me some getting used to, too. Now I prefer them anytime for reasons of "hygiene", especially in the public setting

wildyaks, nothing is wrong with it, if that's what you're used to. My first experience was quite a shock, as no one had prepared me for it. Call me spoiled, but I just prefer the western-style toilet.

yeah great idea!!! maybe i can work these into the show!

I really like this idea.

calkins, what's wrong with just a hole in the floor? As long as it is clean... That's already asking much in some areas

calkins,

nothing special about it. It was OK.

Speaking of bathrooms, did anyone ever get a photo of the infamous bathroom at the factory? We've all heard so much about it, but as they say, a picture is worth a 1000 words.

And that reminds me:

"Why don't the toilet partitions go floor-to-ceiling?"

Personally, I could care less about the partitions...what is more important is that the toilet isn't just a hole in the floor!

How about, "Why are you so obsessed with bathrooms (toilets)? Doesn't that topic always get high response in Chinesepod?

"Your government does not care how many children you have? You can have as many you like? And how do you afford more than one?"

I've never been asked those questions, since I don't have a family myself, but I witnessed Chinese asking this kind of questions.

And of course:

"Is it true that you can drive as fast as you can on a German highway"?. There are even tourist tours for experiencing German highways. I read those are pretty scary for the tour guides.

There are some incidents I know of where (middle-aged male) Chinese visitors thought the west is a place bereft of morals, Sodom and Gomorrah. Read: A happy place where free love reigns. To their utter disappointment, live is pretty normal here, too.

But I think that this kind of misunderstanding is not as common with the newer, better connected & informed generation...

After being told that Chinese people live in smaller homes and require less bedroom/living space, I was surprised to be asked "Why is your house so very small!"

It is a normal two bedroom plus sunroom old fibro house, large kitchent, etc, with just me living in it.

Strange question!

Turns out the question was really: You have enough back yard to hold three more of these houses, so why is your house not four times its size so that it fills the whole block of land?

I agree with you RJ, I'd also love to hear insights from some native Chinese...Cassie, bjnewer, sophie, etc....

thanks for bumping this one Brent. I really wish we would get more response here.

Interesting topic Weixiao.

Why do Westerners (Americans) say "I love you" so much (easily)?

"Why do you play games where there is no [monetary] risk?"

It took me a while to understand what these two guys were asking me when I was at college. "There's no riss.. no riss.." Then I realised they were actually saying "There's no risk".. and I put 2 and 2 together and understood the meaning.

bbjt, as I said above, these are examples of actual questions that have been asked of me. I happen to be American, so, of course, my examples would reflect that. But anyone can play this game.

Obviously this thread is not about an improbable "guide to Western CultureS".It's about a guide to north-american Culture.

I won't over analyse that mistake but please be careful.

This is a really interesting idea. I really hope we hear from some of the Chinese members about what questions they have, once had, or even questions their friends might have had. At first glance I thought I would be able to contribute many but none come to mind quickly. I can think of two that I have heard.

-How do you spend all your money?

-Why dont you take better care of old people?

I find one of weixiao's questions very interesting. What is the difference in how we view the need for, and the use of apologies? Can someone comment on further on that? How often do the Chinese say Im sorry and in what situations compared to westerners? Are apologies meaningful? Do they represent a loss of face in some cases?

Maybe how to answer chinese friends questions about western lifestyles would make a good chinesepod lesson?

That would be a really interesting show!