trevorb journal jan 2011
这是我的先的journal post. 今天是二零一一年的先的日。
bodaweiJanuary 01, 2011, 11:47 PM
This is a cool idea, all the best with the new group.
I'll accept your challenge for comments (hope this is what you mean.) I emphasise that my Chinese grammar is 很差 (limited) but for what it's worth I have a couple of suggestions you could consider.
二零一一年一月一号 - This is formal, like a Government notice. It is fine (actually gives it a literary feel which I like personally) but I think it is also ok to just write 2011/1/1. Numbers are far more common in everyday life here in China. This is how a native speaker would date a journal entry - while you would say 二零等等 。。you can just use the numbers in writing.
这是我的先的(suggest 第一次）journal post (suggest: 帖子). 今天是二零一一年的先的日。
外面天气下雨了，我的(不要的)两个孩子打电脑游戏，老婆在客厅看电视剧，所以我可以(会?）学习中文。 (Better to use 着 zhe in this kind of sentence if you are up to it, verb + 着)
明天老婆和我 (put yourself first in Chinese)出去（要去)她的老家看见他的妈妈爸爸 (just 看父母)。那里离这里很远 (?just 到哪里)，开车时候是三小时半 (just 坐车三个小时半)。
Now I should do one myself :)
many thanks for your support and for your comments. I've now realised I need to add something to my description as the best thing is for the journal entries to start as the first comment to a comment so that the replies to a days entry stay together.....
It's great to get some feedback on your writing as I often have an audience of one to my writing. I have lessons set for me so by the time I read them there are lots of comments that cover my questions and I have nowhere to input!
xiaophilJanuary 02, 2011, 03:18 AM
Good idea. I might add that if you become a member of nciku.com, you can write blogs. You might want to post there too because you'll get feedback from lots of nice Chinese users. Have fun!
Many thanks for the advice on the nciku. I use that website all the time for the dictionary but never ventured into their online community. I just wrote my first blog on there and within 10 minutes I've already gotten a response from a native speaker correcting it.
trevorbJanuary 03, 2011, 06:09 PM
This entry is (I think) ambiguous as to whether you are writing an account of the day's events or giving us your plans. Given that it was posted 14 hrs ago I am going to guess that you reported what happened. In that case you need to use 了 to indicate a completed action.
Unless you particularly wanted to point out that you paid, I suggest 我们跟老婆的老朋友一起吃饭了。
once again thank you bodawei. I'm particularly bad at past tense stuff, I just cannot seem to get that yet!
That's part of the reason I thought this exercise may be good for me :-) once I embarrass myself enough I may begin to learn it!
trevorbJanuary 03, 2011, 06:20 PM