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hěnduō lǎoyībèi de Zhōngguó rén xǐhuan tīng xiàngsheng ，yóuqí shì Guōdégāng xiānsheng de 。shuōqǐ Guōdégāng ，tā bù zhǐ xiàngsheng lìhai ，hái shúxī gèzhǒng xìqǔ ，suǒyǐ hěnduō rén xiǎng chéngwéi tā de xuésheng ne 。

Many older Chinese like to listen to cross talk, especially Mr. Guo Degang’s. Speaking of Guo Degang, he is not only good at cross talk, but also familiar with various operas, so many people want to be his students.

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若干年后齐宣王过世，他的儿子齐愍王继承了王位。这位齐愍王和他爹一样也喜欢听人吹奏竽，不同的是，他喜欢听独奏。有天，他颁布了道命令，要求隔天让那三百位乐师逐一吹竽给他听。乐师们听闻命令都相当开心，大家都想要在君王面前大展身手，只有那位滥竽充数的南郭先生觉得非常心虚，十分焦虑。心想：”这可是欺君之罪，要杀头的啊！我还不得赶紧溜之大吉？”于是连忙收拾行李，有多远逃多远了。

ruògān nián hòu QíXuānwáng guòshì ，tā de érzi QíMǐnwáng jìchéng le wángwèi 。zhèwèi QíMǐnwáng hé tā diē yīyàng yě xǐhuan tīng rén chuīzòu yú ，bùtóng de shì ，tā xǐhuan tīng dúzòu 。yǒu tiān ，tā bānbù le dào mìnglìng ，yāoqiú gétiān ràng nà sān bǎi wèi yuèshī zhúyī chuī yú gěi tā tīng 。yuèshī men tīngwén mìnglìng dōu xiāngdāng kāixīn ，dàjiā dōu xiǎngyào zài jūnwáng miànqián dàzhǎnshēnshǒu ，zhǐyǒu nà wèi lànyúchōngshù de Nánguō xiānsheng juéde fēicháng xīnxū ，shífēn jiāolǜ 。xīnxiǎng ：”zhè kěshì qījūnzhīzuì ，yào shātóu de a ！wǒ hái bùdé gǎnjǐn liūzhīdàjí ？”yúshì liánmáng shōushi xíngli ，yǒu duō yuǎn táo duō yuǎn le 。

Some years later, the King passed away and his son, the King Min, inherited the throne. The King was similar to his dad in that he also loved listening to the yu. The difference was that he preferred solo performances. One day, he enacted an order, asking the 300 musicians to play the yu for him one by one. The musicians were quite happy to hear this order since they all wanted to show their talent in front of the King. However, Nan Guo, who has been pretending to play the yu, felt very guilty and anxious about this order. He thought “This is a crime of deceiving the King, people are decapitated over this! I must escape right this moment!” So he urgently packed his luggage and fled as far as he could.

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后来有位南郭先生听说了这事，心里琢磨着，觉得这可是个捞钱的大好机会，于是他千方百计地混进了那支乐队。虽然他根本不会吹竽，但每回乐队演奏，他都跟着装模作样，手指这么按一按，头那么摇一摇，不时地流露出沉醉的表情，看着还真像是一位专业的乐师。反正没吹出声，也不会出错被发现。

hòulái yǒu wèi Nánguō Xiānsheng tīngshuō le zhè shì ，xīnli zhuómo zhe ，juéde zhè kěshì ge lāoqián de dà hǎo jīhuì ，yúshì tā qiānfāngbǎijì de hùnjìn le nà Zhī yuèduì 。suīrán tā gēnběn bùhuì chuī yú ，dàn měi huí yuèduì yǎnzòu ，tā dōu gēnzhe zhuāngmózuòyàng ，shǒuzhǐ zhème àn yī àn ，tóu nàme Yáo yī Yáo ，bùshí de liúlù chū chénzuì de biǎoqíng ，kàn zhe hái zhēn xiàng shì yī wèi zhuānyè de yuèshī 。fǎnzhèng méi chuī chū shēng ，yě bùhuì chūcuò bèi fāxiàn 。

When a man named Nan Guo heard about this, he pondered to himself, thinking this is an amazing opportunity to fish for bucks. Therefore, he did everything possible to infiltrate this orchestra. Although he does not know how to play the yu at all, he just had to press a finger or two, nod his head a few times, and occasionally express that he is fully immersed to look like a real musician. As long as he doesn’t play out any sounds, no one would know if there was a mistake anyway.

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是吗？可是我觉得郭涛有时候对他儿子太凶了。

shìma ？kěshì wǒ juéde guōtāo yǒushíhou duì tā érzi tài xiōng le 。

Really? But I feel that Guo Tao is sometimes too harsh with his son.

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我觉得教男孩就应该像郭涛那样，要严厉一点。

wǒ juéde jiāo nánhái jiù yīnggāi xiàng guōtāo nàyàng ，yào yánlì yīdiǎn 。

I think that to teach a boy, you should be like Guo Tao and be a bit stricter.

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还行吧！韩寒、郭敬明、张悦然的作品我都看过。都是上中学的时候看的。我有一阵子还特别想辍学创作小说呢！

háixíng ba ！Hán Hán 、Guō Jìngmíng 、Zhāng Yuèrán de zuòpǐn wǒ dōu kàn guo 。dōu shì shàng zhōngxué de shíhou kàn de 。wǒ yǒu yīzhènzi hái tèbié xiǎng chuòxué chuàngzuò xiǎoshuō ne ！

It's all right. I've read Han Han, Guo Jingming, and Zhang Yueran's works. I read them all when I was in middle school. There was a period of time during which I really wanted to drop out of school and write fiction!

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我们也有啊，你去郭德纲的相声剧场看看，要互动有互动，要气氛有气氛。影射、嘲讽、双关这些幽默手法要多少有多少。

wǒmen yě yǒu a ，nǐ qù Guō Dégāng de xiàngsheng jùchǎng kàn kan ，yào hùdòng yǒu hùdòng ，yào qìfēn yǒu qìfēn 。yǐngshè 、cháofěng 、shuāngguān zhèxiē yōumò shǒufǎ yào duōshao yǒu duōshao 。

We have those, too. Go see Guo Degang's cross-talk. He's got both interaction and the presence you want. Insinuation, ridicule and dual meaning; he uses all the humor devices you could want.

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那总有最喜欢的嘛。我最喜欢佟掌柜、白展堂、吕秀才、郭芙蓉、李大嘴......

nà zǒng yǒu zuì xǐhuan de ma 。wǒ zuì xǐhuan Dǒng zhǎngguì 、Bái Zhǎntáng 、Lǚ xiùcai 、Guō Fúróng 、Lǐ Dàzuǐ ......

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再妙有郭芙蓉的 “世界如此美妙，我却如此暴躁”来得妙吗？

zài miào yǒu Guō Fúróng de “shìjiè rúcǐ měimiào ，wǒ què rúcǐ bàozào ”lái de miào ma ？

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