User Comments - SF_Rachel

Posted on: A Creepy Guy

I'll look for a followup when you're not tied up because I have to admit I'm having a little trouble parsing your meaning. "Family pasts comment" = ? ; "that name" = ?

Posted on: A Creepy Guy

My perspective, validating Baba's points:

The guy was pretending not only to be rich, but to be seeking marriage. The truth was not only that he wasn't rich, but also that he wasn't seeking a serious relationship (if he really were seeking marriage, he would only have needed to deceive one girl, yes?).

His two deceptions were combined as bait to seduce girls, not to trick them into marriage. Gross. And as Baba said, any blame for the girls' potential mercenary behavior is pretty much outweighed by the guy's active sexual fraud.

Our grandmothers (and okay, our mothers too) used to tell us "It's just as easy to fall in love with a rich man as a poor man. So honey, try to spend more time around rich men, okay?" The implication here being that the older generation was worried that young women's default setting is to fall for the impoverished greasers.

Curious about one thing in the expansion sentence -- it didn't just say that he was pretending to be wealthy but that he pretended to be second-generation wealthy. That is, that his wealth was family money and not dependent on him earning it. Is there cultural significance to that? Is that more attractive somehow? Should we give these girls some credit for looking for love after all (i.e., a man who has time to spend with them as well as money to raise a child with?)

Posted on: A Creepy Guy

Nice to see another woman join the discussion on creepiness.

Agree. I think the difference might be that Pimsleur feels almost like it's coaching male clients on how to be creepers. Whereas ChinesePod feels like they'd be having some fun at the creepers' expense. I did not fail to note some of the men here also perceived Pimsleur's dialogues as a bit of oblivious "creeper coaching" and were similarly icked out by it, so a grateful "Thanks" to the fellas for that.

Posted on: A Creepy Guy

Here follows a female perspective on the perception of asymmetrical ogling rights. Proceed at your own risk.

First of all, I’d point out that WeiWei actually seems to have a pretty permissive attitude generally towards the male gaze. Not once but twice she advises her friend to ignore the guy – he can look all he wants she says, or I’ll ignore him while I’m looking at other guys that interest me, which seems pretty socially symmetrical to me. (In between the two statements, she does a quick “modesty check” to make sure she’s there’s nothing inappropriate in her appearance to attract attention). WeiWei only takes action when he comes over and tries to fraudulently win her trust by lying about knowing her from a safe space, which is super, super-creepy of him. (Frank does not seem likely to be his real name either, does it?).

The controversial 我们看帅哥 line. If it’s a joke, perhaps it’s in bad taste. But if it’s not a joke, it seems likely to me she’s suggesting appreciative “looking” at a sampling of all the guys in the bar (flirty giggles optional), and not creepily aggressive leering, intensely focused on a single person. Can reasonable people of good faith agree there’s a difference? If one guy gives me a brief look with a smile or flirty eyes in the course of his personal mission to look at (and size up his chances with) every the woman in the bar, it may or may not be unwelcome, but it’s not scary. As WeiWei said, “he can look if he wants.” If he stares at me fixedly for a long period of time with an “evil smile” on his face, I’m likely thinking “does he have a murder kit in the trunk of his car?” And something along these lines seems to be LuLu’s concern.

The story WeiWei tells about stomping on the guy “looking” at her on the subway is, I admit, potentially problematic since it suggests that sometimes she does feel compelled to punish “looking.” That being said, bringing my own experience to the story, I assumed that when she said “some disgusting guy was looking at me” what she meant was “some disgusting guy was staring down the front of my blouse and I couldn’t protect my personal space or move away from him (since the subway was so crowded).”

I've been there, and I think I can guarantee that every adult woman you know (and, sadly, nearly every teenage girl) has too. When talking to other women I've shorthanded the situation in a similar way, and among women and in context there's no need to elaborate: it's understood. And from there it’s not a huge jump to “…so I stomped on his foot to make him stop ogling me and forestall what seemed like an inevitable escalation to groping.” But I admit none of that was explicitly stated in the dialog and maybe I'm bringing excess lady-baggage to the dialogue.

Posted on: Petty Chicken Idioms

Clearly the chickens have hired an image consultant to overcome their reputation issues. Exhibit 1: images from a photoshoot by Peter Lippmann for Cartier and Marie Claire. A different meaning to the Britishism "posh bird"?

Posted on: A Creepy Guy

哈哈哈, that does have the look of practicing for something, doesn't it?

Posted on: A Creepy Guy

And adding to what I learned from Pimsleur

那个人可以请我喝酒，可是我不要脱衣服。

Posted on: A Creepy Guy

我想一边洗澡一边穿衣服。“偷拍”让我特别不太舒服。

Posted on: A Creepy Guy

For anyone familiar with Pimsleur, does this lesson bring back memories or what? I remember being a bit creeped out that Pimsleur's lessons seemed intent on teaching me how to turn down a proposition. Several lessons in a row hinged on some creepy guy asking a woman out, being turned down repeatedly and not getting the hint, even when she finally said quite explicitly "I do not want to go anywhere with you."

For a long time, I'd joke to my friends that the most useful thing I had learned from Pimsleur was to say

你可以请我喝酒，可是我不想跟你一起出旅馆。

Posted on: A Creepy Guy

我一看词汇清单，就想洗澡，太恶心！

On a happier note, blue steel! Your references to movies from the previous decade amuse me mightily.