No sex please, we're Chinese!

  To all foreigners:

First of all,I QUESTION :

1."Why do you study Chinese?"

2."What the definition of Chinese Culture?" (just on your view)

3."During the procedure of studying Chinese,what does Chinese Culture mean?"

 As a Chinese,I had read A Study of History (Arnold J. Toynbee),Critique Of Pure Reason (Immanuel Kant),The Wealth of Nation(Adam Smith),also The Competitive Advantage of Nations(Michael E.Porter) and some related books.

I often compare the cultures between Chinese and overseas.In my opinion,Western Culture is not a simple culture which from USA,UK(or something only from Anglo-Saxon) .It is a MIXTURE.German people do things very carefully,also do Swiss people.The people from Northern Europe do most things as their will(I image).Americans do things quite different from Frech people.

 I thought people will adress they occupied than they don't.Such as Chinese people always said The Four Great Inventions,I thought in deeply last session:as "Western Culture Invasion",the defenders of Tradition should build the CONFIDENCE of nation by this way.

Also,in a book about management in a international company,a case showed readers a westerner  just said "For our hundreds-year development of Capitalism." the native people hands in resignation by thinking the westerner laughing at "HE WAS JUST DROPPED FROM THE TREE."

The preduce of western people and the deep-in-mind thought of anti-western among Chinese make a big obstacles in culture exchage.

does any body know Esperanto(created by Łazarz Ludwik Zamenhof)?

http://zh.wikipedia.org/wiki/世界语

WHY it cannot be a part of our life?Do you really think about it?

The World is a Muliti-Culture world!    Each language cannot replace other.

 What the core of Chinese culture? I do study harder in western style,the more thirsty of tradition I suffered.

 IN MY OPINION(you can criticize), I found some philosophical question about LaoZi,KongZi(Confucius),Mozi,and so on.Logological thought was appeared in Mozi's book,also a famous book White Horse is not Horse (GongSunLongZi)白马非马.I had this book,I scaned it in my junior school(SCAN,not read).I also know the Hegel.Chinese philosophy was more practice,also a prototype of the world,maybe I can describe it with the word "Chaos" or "Initial".For Chinese people,we needn't the exact meaning of life,but the advance of life we can see it.For western thinkers(maybe in recent centures),they adressed the Reason more! When we do something,Chinese and Westerners also the Africaners and some more different areas can approach to the same goal in quite different ways!

All roads lead to Rome.

I also realized the "Science" is a foreign word(《词源》上没有),though it  widely used in modern China.

It was inveted by western world from the Renaissance.China only have the Technology.

Another example:Chinese use the HouHeiXue 厚黑学 and some experience to manage people.westerners,especially Americans,use the "Scientific Management". So some American companies falls in China,just for the reason of not adapted to the "potential rule".

We Chinese  do things by experience,also in some occation,the word"德高望重" means the accumulated a lot of experience.

Also,I think we Chinese culture like a practice culture,if you want to learn Chinese,just practise,you want to learn the Chinese culture,just adapted to the way of Chinese people thinking.It has few answers(if you question),because Chinese people do it in that way from ancient,and also many of us like to keep this tradition.

Thanks for viewing my point.

ps:welcome to talk with me via e-mail,my e-mail adress is crmchinaster@gmail.com.my trial account will close in one or two days.

今天在cheathappens转悠 偶然看到这个广告 就注册个来看看

没想到这除了我以外还有中国人。

现在中国小学就开始学英语了，这儿还有学英语的老外。这个世界真疯狂

If u can understand what I said,I'm sure you are good at CHinese

东方人对性的态度历来都很开明.这点是毋庸置疑的.

如果没有宋明理学,很难讲现在的中国和日本,哪个国家对于性,会更开放更坦率.

中国是一个很矛盾的国家.你看到的,未必是真正本质的东西.而你有时候想当然的认为,则可能就恰好是这个事务本来面目的对立面.

想要了解中国,你必须要学会中国的语言,因为这事另外一种不同的思维.

啊，miantiao你中文这么好，原来有这层原因啊，呵呵。

在自己的人生中换一种生活环境，跟另一种文化的人生活感觉生活更有味吧！我出行的时候，一老外跟我讲，到中国来旅行，在另一种文化环境中生活了一些日子，让他彻底从原来生活的僵局中走了出来，生活似乎更有活力了。

我想我能够理解，就像我经常远足，让自己的心胸更坦然，不去为生活中的一些琐碎消磨掉对生活的热情。

不知道，你在两种文化中穿行的时候，有没有这种感觉呢！嘻嘻

@shuimenge

你说到学校宿舍条件我都晓得，就是因为我女友是农民，四川南方，在四川、贵州、和云南三省的境地，从他家可看见河对面的贵州。他们那里都是种橘子的，一般的家庭每年养两三只猪，过年聚餐吃辣肉。他的故事间接就让人佩服。

@tan1200

就是，因为科技进步很快，无法控制每个网友。网络很大，语言妨碍越少。我看最大的区别就是，我们给政府压力，不是政府给人民压力， 这现象来自人民有权给任何人投票。

 @miantiao

真不敢相信面条同志居然是个外国人      太不可思议了

个人认为    毛伟人想当皇帝

文革那段时间的事特别像历朝历代加强中央集权的措施 

 我要是以前说这话  应该就被抓起来了 

感谢言论自由的时代

miantiao,

对不起，对不起。你还是前面一个词典；mdbg.你真的是聪明 ！！

呵呵，bababardwan是故意打击我们的miantiao吧！呵呵

你们两感情真好，不然不会这样损对方的吧，呵呵，真像北京人的作风呢！嘻嘻

bugger!!

miantiao,

也许你是“床友”的发明人应为mdbg没有，但是google有十三千三白“床友”。对不起我朋友。

“床友”在中文中有，只是没有推广，因为大多是在中国乡镇上的小学初中有用到，因为他们的住宿条件有限，很多都是两个同学睡一个床，呵呵，不过他们的用处跟大人说的不一样。

床友，在中文里 这个词好像还没出现！好吧！我就是  ‘床友’ 词的发明人， 呵呵！

Taiwan may be low on the list, but at least it got a good number...88!!  I'd be happy with sex every 4 days, ha ha.

From the same survey, some interesting data on Americans:

Americans have sex just 85 times a year (about once every 4.3 days), well below the global average of 103 times (about once every 3.5 days)

American men average 13 partners, which is:
- Ten less than Canadians (23)
- Three less than the British (16)
- One less than Mexicans (14)
- Equal to the global average (13)

American women average nine partners, which is:
- One less than Canadians (10)
- One less than the British (10)
- Three more than Mexicans (6)
- Two more than the global average (7)

As Matt mentioned, take it with a grain of salt.

@barbs

mmm, if they had of asked me i would have played it down too. don't wanna go round lokkin like a trollop do we ;-)

miantiao,

I think Matt's referring to the discrepancy in the figures in the Durex survey,对不对？I agree with Matt.Particularly on such a potentially sensitive subject and huge cultural differences in the approach to discussing it,even in an anonymous survey,the potential for reporter bias is so huge as to be potentially meaningless.IMHO.

谁把阴气破坏了？

Please play nice. In my experience, it pays to do one's research, don't believe everything you read/hear... some are uncomfortable discussing it, some even deny they have it - but scrape underneath the surface and you'll find way more people getting it on, in all manner of ways, then you'd have imagined.

@miantiao

你的汉语让我折服,在一个中国人看来shuimengge一点恶意都没有,请您不要误解!他/她只是讲出了一种现象!中国是一个发展中国家,法律制度还不完善,在所难免会出现一些不好的风气.我们只能一步一步的解决这些问题.

欢迎你再次来中国...

@miantiao

你的话总是让人惊奇你对中国的了解，特别是对文化大革命的了解完全超出了一般人，就连好多中国的学生在学习那段历史的时候都没有想的这么深刻。他们只是背书上写的评论，却很少用自己的大脑思考，而课本上虽然也客观的指出了毛的错误，但都写的很含蓄。中国人总是不喜欢把自己的错误晾在太阳底下，呵呵。当年，我跟老师聊天说：政治总是这么黑暗，老师说：“你的想法可不能写在卷子上啊！”呵呵

儒家文化要求做人要温良而貌恭，那些丑陋的一定只能在看不到的地方进行，也就是要求人都是金玉其外。就连历史衣裳都要把他搞得足够光鲜，呵呵

但是，中国有一句话又说的好：水至清则无鱼，人至清则无徒。不管是做人还是这个社会的运行，太过清明不一定是好事。只要那些灰色地带还是在控制范围内，还是存在的好。因为那些所谓公正的条条框框不一定在任何时候都是适用的。如果一个好事在表面的条款下被限制，可以走地下通道。这样，虽然方式不光明，但结果对社会来说是光明的。在中国古代，如果不是有一些暗线，好多清官被害的之后就不会有翻身的机会了。

一个东西的好坏，主要是看我们怎么去用它。那些贪官确实很可恶，你作为直接或间接的受害者更是讨厌他们，但他们又不能不存在。第一，如果作官的都贪不了了，没有油水可捞了，那还有多少官愿意去作官去办事，这么大个国家机构怎么运行下去；第二，有些在明道上走不通的好事，那就只能彻底没戏唱了，那社会好多可以推动发展的东西都不会存在了。好多东西都是在现在的阵容大了，才被国家认可。但在之前，都是依靠那些贪官生存下来的。贪官贪可以，但数量不能大；贪官存在可以，但不能整个社会都在贪。所以中国在贪官这件上都是打一下，把一帮人震摄住了，再养一下。呵呵，这些都是没事了自己想的，不要往心里去啊。不过如果这样想就不会那么生气了吧！

你说中国人也不懂中国人，是的，因为中国人懂了中国人行事方式的渊源，很多事就看明白了，看开了，能忍受一些事，也能从根本上控制这些事。因为他知道了这些事的运行规律。

@shuimenge

不用向我抱歉，其实我昨天反应的有一点过分。 你说连中国人也对祖国文化不太理解，这点我觉得很有意思，我一年前慢慢的意识到这个事实，原因好像是文化是个本性流动的东西，就要随着社会的需要，每个年代的需要过了有些变动，是跟很多因素有关，可是20世纪是最明显的，科技发展的确影响到各国家的各种思路。

说实话， 你说我理解中国，我不敢当，其实到目前为止我就是得到了走马看花的理解，夜读不懂中国文化的一切。我不容易被气死了，不过在现代的中国还是出现有些事件就让我生气，都是跟贪官有关的。各个国家并不能自说完善，我们到底就是人，动物带着能思考的头脑。从人家开始用自来表达思想起，大多数的作家就迷惑而思考生命的意义和人本性是否好坏。到目前为止答案还没出现。

关于我问你毛主席有关的问题，你的答案不是我在寻找的。中国古代文化和思想当然包含了不好的习俗，比如；重男轻女，民族主义，人贩子，贪官等等，可是呢，难道西方国家的历史上没有这些问题？当然有过，可是因为政治方面、民主化、逐渐减少和毁灭那些不人道的行为、习俗和迷信。毛主席推行的‘大革命’ 不是因为他想要把旧文化所糟粕除掉，其实50年代已经成功了。那个时侯旧文化威胁毛主席权威的潜力很大，毛主席早已承认这个危险而进行盲目的把中国弄得乱七八糟，说的就是为了改善中国文化而带给百姓和平幸福公平什么的，可是这显得就是托词为开掉反对他的意见人物而坚强他个人的地位和权利。他并没有想到旧文化的好处，就把一切推翻了而弄得乱七八糟，牺牲了无数的国民。

我倒底想说的是，珍惜旧文化的好处而除掉坏处。

我住在成都，刚好两年了。我正在澳洲装修房子，这月底要回成都。

我想要抱歉我昨天过分的词语。

Durex's Sexual Wellbeing Global Survey (2008) | Greeks on top

More than 317,000 people from 41 countries, cities and territories participated in condom-maker Durex's 9th SEXUAL WELLBEING GLOBAL SURVEY on sexual attitudes and behaviour. The friskiest? Greece topped the poll with an average of 138 romps a year. In 2nd place were the Croatians with an average of 134 times a year, followed by those in Serbia and Montenegro who average 128 times.

Who have the least active sex lives globally? -- Asians, with 9 countries and territories from the region making up the bottom 10. Japan was at the bottom of the list (!), with an average of 45 times annually which is less than the global average of 103. Singapore ranked 2nd-last with 73. Indians (75), Indonesians (77), Hong Kong residents (78), Malaysians (83), Vietnamese (87), Taiwanese (88), China (96 times a year), and Thais (97 times a year) were the other Asians ranked as having the lowest libido.

Why? Durex theorizes that the stress of living in fast-paced Asia, home to some of the world's fastest-growing economies, could be the reason why people have sex less often. (Although it's also been said Asian countries have the highest rate of one-night-stands because of the fast-paced lifestyle).

Or maybe they were too polite to aim to high and instead answered demurely -- you know, to let the other countries shine.

Another relevant article.
http://www.wasvisual.com/lecture.html?lecture=182

P/S. As a Japanese man, I'm so relieved to read this article.

@miantiao

非常报歉我的言论伤害到了你

你说＂一个文化并不能说比其他的文化好、现代化、文明、高进化等等，原因很简单，每个文化从社会的需要、环境限制起出现和发展，各有各的特点和需要。＂这一点说的很好，我从来没有要去比较两个文化之间价值的高低，我相信历史文化是很多因素造成的，存在即合理．我也相信未来也可能真会＂世界大同＂．在这一点上我们是不存在分歧的．

我帖子想要说的是，有些外国朋友只是就他们所看到的一个事例就发表一些片面的会伤害中国人的言论，他们看到的只是很多中的个别现象，是特例，并不能代表全国．

我的帖子是想劝诫国人，看到这里的时候不要郁闷，因为外国朋友了解中国的渠道有限，接触的范围有限，他们说的只是＂他们＂看到的，并不是全部事实．我们要宽容，要征服自己的幽怨和愤慨．不想－你却把它上升到了国与国之间的文化去了，不过是我没写清楚才造成误解，我很报歉！

至于你说我对他国的印象与理解，我只能说我知道的都是别人说的，网上传的，书上写的，然后通过我的思考留下来的一个整体形象，也许跟事实存在很大差异，还是不说了．

至于你说我们的那位毛老爷子做的那件事，我想你想要我说出来的是＂旧的东西中有很多糟粕，应该去除所以才有了那场文化大革命＂吧！确实是这样，我不否认．

但同时我还想表达的是，一个事件的出现是很多因素共同作用的结果，发动文化大革命，有上面的那个因素，但与当时的政治状况，人员布局等等因素相比，那只不过是冰山一角而已．

最后，我想说的是，我真的很钦佩您，作为一个外国朋友能这么了解中国真的很了不起．

还有，我想问个问题：曾仕强教授讲解《易经》曾说过＂不懂中国人，你能被他活活气死，只有读懂了中国人，才知道他们每做一件事都是有渊源有根据的．＂我还只是一个没有真正读懂中国人的中国人，所以还会为很多事愤怒．也许很多年以后，我可以心平气和了，也不会激愤了，才是一个地道的国人．但我想知道，您－－作为一位外国朋友，并且是本身经历的很多，也了解中国的很多的外国朋友，您在与中国人交往，工作或是做生意的过程中，是不是还会经常为很多所谓的中国式的事件处理方式生气？

@shuimenge

对啊， 我们西方人都无知得咋有办法懂啊！难道我们怪物还能够思想、观察、听话、思考生命的意义什么的。我们就没戏了。我给你说哈，动作比话说的还要大声！

有的人出生缺乏幽默感，太严肃。你的帖子看起来有一点骄傲，看不起其他国家的文化，就觉得比不上祖国的，是吗？

有没有人曾告诉你，一个文化并不能说比其他的文化好、现代化、文明、高进化等等，原因很简单，每个文化从社会的需要、环境限制起出现和发展，各有各的特点和需要。

我们世界越来越国际化，这个过程对后代人很有挑战性，挑战就在保护传统文化习俗和同时进入新世界，每个文化必要寻求在这两点中的平衡。话说回来，再过了几个世纪，我们的世界大概就会有一个大文化，一大群人。

我就想知道一个东西，问你一下，好不？ 请给我们写下你对其他的国家有什么印象和理解。

中国文化却不是很复杂，反而就是不一样吧！你想说什么呀？我还有一个问题想要问你一下，毛泽东为什么执行毁灭旧文化的政策？请你加深我这个无知老头子的中国理解。

Is there some kind of law that Chinese people can't talk about any given subject without knee-jerk mentioning that Chinese culture and history is so wildly different?  It's boring to read and doesn't really apply to the discussion, and anyway I don't think it's true.

人大多都只是看到世界的那一点，然后就开始发表自己并不成熟的意见，我们不能怪上面的意见怎么怎么样，因为他们都不懂，所以我们不能见怪。

没有几个人能看能中国，或者中国人。就边中国人自己都没有几个真正看懂自己的国家，还能高要求外国人吗？

太悠远的历史创造了太复杂的中国文化。

我们看老外很奇怪，原来老外看我们也是一样的。呵呵。还是咱们古人说得好，见怪不怪，其怪自败。

那是因为中国人上一辈的人比较保守,保守的观念很根深蒂固.

@raygo

天啊！我晕！ 都是假的！;-P

Well anyway it seems that I won't have the chance to learn from those "sex technique workshops" after all! According to this report Loveland has been demolished before it even opened!

Some more interesting info (for we endlessly prurient 老外 curious about Chinese attitudes to sex) in the article linked to. For example, (I cannot resist a quotation for reluctant clickers):

"...the demolition highlights conflicting views on sex in modern China, where a prudish attitude toward discussion of sexuality sits uneasily alongside an almost clinical approach to its physical aspects.

While pornography is banned and the idea of sex education largely unheard of, shops selling sex toys and related items stand out prominently in many neighbourhoods and sex outside marriage is widely tolerated.

Meanwhile, prostitution, although technically illegal, is widespread and the keeping of illicit mistresses among prominent businessmen and Communist Party officials is considered commonplace."

I agree with mikeinewshot and Calkins, Chinese people love sex just as much as anyone. 

The ladies from their forties down sure do!!The older generation are not so open and free

miantiao speaks the truth here, we can blame so much on the 1960s.

another interesting aspect of this subject might be how Chinese people view the sexual mores of westerners. it took me a while after I first came here to realise that many Chinese seem to consider westerners sexually promiscuous. you'll sometimes get people bringing up the subject of western 'broad-mindedness'.

at first I was a little amused. (then I just thought it was so unfair - lol - I'd led such a quiet life after all). then I realised that compared to many Chinese people, a westerner who might go through 2 or more 'long-term' partners before 'settling down' would be/seem promiscuous compared to them.

@nuaa_er

我们西方文化不久前看待性也是那样的态度，一般来说那时多半人认为除了在夫妻卧室里面外，谈性绝对不道德，是跟宗教有关，圣经里规则和教导。

现在不一样了，60年代西方文化经过所谓 ‘性革命’。

有意思，从外国人的视角看中国还真是有意思。

中国人对待性比较谨慎，这和中国的历史文化是由关系的。

认为在公共场所谈性是不道德的，不过现在这种观点正在慢慢的改变。

可能是因为四川辣妹子多！

还有，很多药房店面窗户挂着万艾特广告！因为我女友比我小十几岁，所以到时候我老了而站不起来就会很方便！！

Well sport one certainly doesn't see any 成人用品店 down here! Though I understand that a great many 'sex toys' are manufactured in Shenzhen for export to the west!

I love your phrase ‘床上运动’ btw, gonna have to remember that!

miantiao, "sports on the bed"....awesome!!!

成都市成人用品店很多，这肯定表示中国人对 ‘床上运动’ 非常感兴趣。

据我个人的经验，中国女孩在公共场所不怎么所谓 ‘开放’，连亲吻也不敢让别人看了，比西方人谦虚，可是在家里会变得完全不一样，太厉害了。不过我曾经就有一个中国女友。

calkins, you make a good point which made me chuckle! But there are other factors at work there of course.

Just the other day I took a taxi here in provincial Guangdong, and had the chance to practise my Chinese with those usual questions about age, family, number of children, etc.

Of course I asked the driver (a guy of 54 years) about how many children he had. (I should mention that here in the south the 1-child policy is not enforced so rigorously as elsewhere in China.) He told me he had 5!

After I congratulated him and complimented him for being 厉害 (lìhai) his response was a mighty frown and a deep sigh. "四个女儿," he said. "终于有儿子了". ("Four daughters, finally I had a son".)!

Thanks for the link antony, some more interesting information there. 对了，I can't help wondering about those "sex technique workshops" that Loveland (or 性公园 if you prefer) apparently will be offering to its visitors. Maybe I should book a ticket early.

BBC link here for the same story with some interesting links about Chinese youths and sexual freedom, and China's STD problem.

I agree with mikeinewshot, Chinese people love sex just as much as anyone. 

BTW, have you seen how many Chinese people are in the world?!  Sex for the sake of procreation alone doesn't produce those kind of numbers ;)

I think the Chinese are not as straight laced as they are portrayed sometimes.  When you get to know them, they enjoy sex as much as the rest of us!  They don't flaunt it publically as much perhaps - I trait I rather like.