octopus' garden

orangina
June 24, 2011, 05:30 PM posted in General Discussion

There are a few grammar mistakes, and not all the characters are as pretty as I would like.... but this song has a lot of prepositional phrases..... in fact it it almost completely comprised of prepositional phrases. So many prepositional phrases! 

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bababardwan
June 24, 2011, 04:30 PM

wow, immediately on opening it I'm blown away..that's awesome orangina. The artist in you comes to the fore [both handwriting and background which looks so Chinese and pretty]. Hey, we're on a beatles themed week...fool on the hill, octopus' garden. I'm thinking of eight days a week as the next one [wishing I could get an extra day for this, hehe]

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bababardwan
June 24, 2011, 04:35 PM

Taking more of a look now, this handwriting is superb..so easy to read, so well spaced. Mate, this is something to aspire to.

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bababardwan
June 24, 2011, 04:43 PM

我想在章鱼的花园在阴凉处呆

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orangina

I just realized it should be 我想在下海的章鱼的花园在阴凉处呆。 One of those wiley propositional phrases got away from me.

I just attended a class for English teachers, it recommend using music to teach grammar. Particularly Beatles songs because they are simple, repetitive and natural. This was not a slam, it was said with great respect. It is also true that prepositions are one of the hardest grammar points in any language (把,被,才)You teach the song, then do exercises where students trade out the words and put in their own to make new sentences with the same structure. Pretty slick. I think I just found me a proposition teachin' song.

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bababardwan

I had initially pointed out that you'd missed the under the sea bit with a couple of suggestions, but then saw you had it later and decided to delete it.

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bababardwan
June 24, 2011, 05:12 PM

I'd really love to stay up and type out the rest, but it's after 3am here and gotta go, and perhaps I should share the joy of typing yours out anyway. Well done orangina. :)

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orangina

Thanks! It was fun! Thanks for setting up this group.

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zhenlijiang
June 24, 2011, 05:16 PM

急,怎么打不开?! 很想看哦

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orangina

Yeah, I've already stayed up past my bedtime trying to get it on photobucket. I did, but it is really tiny. Maybe I'll put that up for now, and work on it tomorrow.... not sure what else to do!

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zhenlijiang

嗯 it's past all our bedtimes. Is the attachment a Word file? Can't wait to see it but I'll come back tomorrow and try again I guess

~晚安~

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orangina

success! I hope you waited up 5 more minutes....

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zhenlijiang

Oh! It's stunning. Wows. 跟 Baba 同感,blows me away Orangina. How long does it take you to do something like this?

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orangina

I don't know how long it took me.... quite a while, but much of that was translating (did I mention the abundance of prepositional phrases?) and then I had technical issues with my scanner, and then photobucket was slow and wanted my picture to be really tiny. Oh, and I tried to sign up for a photobucket account only to discover I already had one. So actually writing the text was, in retrospect, one of the easier parts of the endeavor! Thus my lack of commenting on what everyone else shared. But I needed to resolve my scanner and photobucket issues anyway, so it wasn't wasted time. Tomorrow I can come back fresh to admire everyone's work.

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bababardwan
June 24, 2011, 10:47 PM

ok, looks like no-one else is jumping at the chance, so I'll finish it off:

我想在章鱼的花园在阴凉处呆。

他让我们进入,知道我们从那里来。。。 【应该是“哪里”?】

在他章鱼的花园在阴凉处。

我问问朋友跟我来看章鱼的花园

我想在章鱼的花园在阴凉处呆。

我们在下波浪的小世外桃源下暴风

保暖。

在近洞的章鱼花园里面的海床休

息头。

因为我们知道我们是找不到的,我们会唱又跳舞到处

我想在章鱼的花园在阴凉处呆。

我们会乐喊叫又游水【应该是“泳”?】,在下波浪的珊瑚

处呆。

哦,怎么喜乐,每个女和男子孩知道快乐

又安全的。

你和我会感到真快乐,在那没有人

告诉我们应该做什么。

我想跟你在章鱼的花园呆。

我想跟你在章鱼的花园呆。

我想跟你在章鱼的花园呆

哇,恭喜恭喜。。。那么清楚。。很容易读

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orangina

谢谢! You are probably right about 哪。I used the no口那 because it is a statement , not a question.... but it is still "where" not "there".

The dictionary had both 游水 and 游泳 for swimming. I chose 游水 because 游泳 seemed more about sports, not just splashing about and enjoying yourself. It was an executive decision and I take full responsibility for my actions.

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bababardwan

”It was an executive decision and I take full responsibility for my actions“

哈哈,很好。Actually there was a discussion of this somewhere recently...I remember John saying something about it, but I thought he was talking about 游 on it's own and didn't realise 水 got involved but I think I was multitasking at the time and you know how it is with males and multitasking, hehe. ...or maybe I saw something shiny...that was it.

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babyeggplant
June 24, 2011, 11:02 PM

Wow! I'm impressed. 

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orangina

thanks!

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bababardwan
June 24, 2011, 11:35 PM

Sorry, I've just gotta say again how much I love the artistry of this. I love the way there are waves at the top and then their are little fingers of water going in to the lyrics down the page giving a sense of depth and then the octopus and his garden appropriately at the bottom, safe and {warm?]. It adds so much to the lyrics...so in sync with them. How beautiful that would be in a childrens book.

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orangina

Ooo! Ringo Starr and I could collaborate!

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bababardwan

yeah, go for it, you could call your duet Ringorang ....nice ring to it, hey?

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bababardwan
June 25, 2011, 12:42 AM

Aside from the visual treat here, what I am most pleased about from a personal point of view is how easy I found it to read. This is a revelation to me. I had a nagging suspicion that I would only be able to read typed stuff that is in standard format [and wouldn't recognise anything outside of that], and that reading handwriting would be a character by character exercise in deciphering that I would soon tire of. So it's so nice to know it was so easy. I read the vast majority of it as fast as I would read English. What a pleasure. The only times I had to stop was for the odd character I didn't know, or didn't know well enough and had to look them up, just as I would with a rollover for typed stuff. Sure I know that some handwriting will be hard to decipher [just as it is in English though likely a lot harder as there are only 26 letters and as we know 80,000+ characters and they can be much more complex] but this gives me hope, and has shown that handwriting can be easy to read. Thanks orangina for sharing it with us. :)

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orangina

I'm very happy you liked it, but remember, I am not exactly a native writer. Or anywhere close. I primarily learned to write by copying typed characters. If anything, I write l like an elementary school kid. I am writing, and not just drawing the characters, but far more carefully than a local person.

I think one of the biggest benefits of learning to write on real paper is that you get a feel for the motion of the character. You learn the character in 3 dimensions: height, width and time. Then, when you see a native person's writing, it is a bit easier to read because the motion is familiar. You are adding muscle memory to your arsenal of learning tools. Now that's not to say I am great at reading native writers' handwriting... but I think it helps.

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bababardwan

"I am not exactly a native writer"

..I realise that but it makes no difference to me. It still shows me I am capable of reading handwriting, albeit it may have to be very legible like yours. It doesn't have to be standard format printed stuff, which was my fear.

yes, I still think that skritter is an awesome tool for learning the characters, but you and bodawei have convinced me of the benefit of actually putting pen to paper. I'm going to make an effort. Wish I had time today...I'd love to pump out a page like you did, granted there'll be none of the artisty or aesthetic appeal, but you've really inspired me to give it a crack. I'm definitely going to try in the next few days as soon as I get a chance. The only way is up.

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RJ

Nice job Orangina. And I know thats your artwork at the bottom too. Im always looking to improve, but there are so many things you can spend your time on while learning Chinese. The best way is to Collect samples from someone, and practice. Just like there are a couple hundred radicals, there are a couple hundred cursive short-cuts that look pretty slick. If you copy someone who is good at it, well one can hope anyway. Once you learn to do the deed in one character, you can use the same tricks in all the others that bear the needed similarity. Someone should write a book.

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orangina

Yup, that's pretty much how I learn. I copy typeface, but then add little things I see other people do that I like. A couple of people have mentioned that my handwriting looks a bit Japanese.... Probably because I stole some of my habits from Japanese friends.... hehehe. I also have a few personal stroke order changes, just because I can get a more balanced character that way.

Not really that different from learning to write in your native language, I think. You learn what they teach you in school, then you change it because you see someone else does something nice, or because some way is easier than the proper way. I write my cursive "I" in reverse "stroke" order because it is easier.

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bodawei
June 25, 2011, 02:36 AM

Hey orangina

Yay! Your work  is beautiful - it may not look mature native but I like that you have developed your own aesthetic with the characters and you can see your enjoyment in the writing. Very cool.  

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orangina

Thanks! I really do enjoy it.