Love with a Chinese Lady
willy_woo
September 17, 2010 at 08:49 AM posted in General DiscussionHow can I find love with a Chinese lady? What gets to their hearts? I've heard that Chinese women take offence if you call them beautiful, is this true? How to give a seductive compliment? I want to know.
simonpettersson
September 18, 2010 at 04:20 AM
Learn Mandarin and go to China. They'll throw themselves on you. The rumor goes around that westerners are all really romantic and stuff. Plus everyone thinks you're rich (and you probably are). And you're tall and exotic. There's even a saying that goes "谈恋爱，找老外" (for dating, look for a westerner).
And also, everyone know westerners are … uh, the expression my ex used was "厉害". I shall not explain it further, as children might be reading.
willy_woo
September 18, 2010 at 01:13 PM
I wouldn't say I was rich, but anyway I'm not looking for a lady who's just looking for a guy with money. Maybe I'm not so tall either. I'm trying hard to learn Mandarin but when I listen to the podcast I often don't understand a lot. Actually I'm nervous about the idea of trying to have a conversation in Chinese. I think that must be a disadvantage. I thought 厉害 meant 'great', what are you suggesting?
willy_woo
September 17, 2010 at 12:33 PM
I am not living in China. In fact I've only ever known one Chinese lady before, and she had a Chinese boyfriend who was bigger than me. But since then I'm fascinated by Chinese women, I think about them all the time. What can I do? I need help.
xiao_liang
September 18, 2010 at 06:17 PM
Women are women, wherever they come from. Stop thinking in terms of race, and start thinking in terms of the person.
willy_woo
September 18, 2010 at 01:08 PM
Well, I am very interested in Chinese culture, but you make a good point. To be honest I've been wondering if its right for me to be so crazy about Chinese ladies when I know so little about them, I wonder if I'm setting myself up to be disappointed. That's why I need advice, but really I'm fed up with western women too, I've got some idea Chinese women are more gentle and loyal, is it true or am I fooling myself?
Tal
September 17, 2010 at 11:38 PM
You're welcome mate, in fact my SO tells pretty much the same story. As you say, all in the context. :)
xiao_liang
September 17, 2010 at 03:24 PM
And she says she likes it when it's from me, but if it were a random stranger... all in the context.
So basically, yes! Switching to gentleness and air of sophistication immediately. Thanks for this Tal! :)
xiao_liang
September 17, 2010 at 03:20 PM
I really really hope this isn't true! In fact, I just texted my totally not-impartial source to ask! ;)
Tal
September 17, 2010 at 01:31 PM
A Chinese guy I know once told me that Chinese girls consider praise of their beauty to be a 'cheap' kind of compliment. It's worth bearing in mind that in general, Chinese people like everything to be indirect. Much better to find an opportunity to praise their gentleness, or 'air of sophistication' (气质).
go_manly
September 17, 2010 at 12:52 PM
I know a couple of guys who are only interested in Asian women, in particular Thai girls. I don't really understand that thinking - a good-looking girl is good-looking whatever their race. The same can be said for intelligence and niceness. The only reason I can think for preferring the generic Chinese lady is that you have first fallen in love with the Chinese culture. I just hope you are thinking with the right part of your anatomy, willy_woo.
go_manly
September 17, 2010 at 09:52 AM
Are you living in China? Do you have a particular lady in mind?
BEBC
September 18, 2010 at 07:19 AMWilly, we women like a man to be a man, but we'll marry someone else. Which kind of man are you ?