User Comments - torstenmerker

Posted on: Night life 夜生活，夜经济

I miss the amazing night life in China. It’s not always easy to find a good club there if you only speak English or don’t have a knowledgeable Chinese friend!

Posted on: Coffee Break Series- How to say no to your boss

Hi Alice, It’s funny that you say Chinese is so polite, because it is indirect. In some cultures being too indirect and beating around the bush is quite impolite as you wasting the other person’s time and make him/her guess what you mean. I also shows that you are weak and back down from any possible conflict, not to mention that you withhold a person’s chance to improve because you precisely articulate the other person’s problem. I am German btw. I once watched a German at a trade fair in GuangZhou pointing out the Chinese suppliers problem head on and both were upset because the German didn’t want to be impolite and hence was very direct while the Chinese was upset about so must direct honesty. It was hilarious!

Posted on: Fast Cars and Shallow Women

Hi Rachel,

I can certainly see your point from a romantic, liberated, western woman's point of view (I am assuming SF stands for San Francisco). However, the ideal and reality are always different. I don't know if you have ever been to China, but the lessons come pretty close to how I think about Chinese. I lived there 15 years ago (and go back almost every year) and because of the stereotype of blond Westerns it was a continuous buffet of curious Chinese girls. I didn't even have to try. I ended up changing my pants type to cargo pants so I could carry around a book and a pen for all the phone numbers for girls and job offers I got. Even married women didn't hold back.

Even now I keep getting offers. I live in Banff (Canada's prime national park) and Calgary just introduced direct flights to Beijing. The other day we had some Chinese ladies staying in my hostel and I got asked to fix something in their room. When they found out my age, position and that I could speak Chinese the first question I got asked was if I was married. I wanted to respond with 你呢麽開放，but ended up biting my tongue. While I am not Christian at all, I have studied the effects on our Western culture in comparison to others and have to say most people underestimate its impact. China is pretty religion free and it really shows.

Now I know that's not what you want to hear, but that is reality. If you want to know more stories you can pm me at chinat@gmx.net. Unfortunately, I have to agree with adragon and fesoferbex. China is way more materialistic and stereotypical that you might be comfortable with.