User Comments - bababardwan

Posted on: Mother's Day

What it really means is "I'm not happy with you now". I don't really like this manner of speaking too much either, but I try to keep in mind the true sentiments.

..yes,I'm sure that is what it means,and at the risk of sounding repetitive you are an adult with an adults ability to "keep in mind the true sentiments" that a child,esp a young child is not necessarily going to be able to process. I don't think the sentiments are in question here.However,there is a significant risk for misinterpretation and children do tend to take things very literally..they have concrete thinking and I think it's important to raise awareness of this...many do not realise it. Anyhow thanks for your input mate and sorry everyone,I think I have gone on too much in this thread already so I think I'll bow out at this point.Cheers and peace :)

Posted on: Must-Have Modals

椅子[chair]...hmm looks like I can have my sofa and sit on my chair too. Think I'll go and eat a steak and a cake,loll back on my sofa with me feet on my chair.

Posted on: Must-Have Modals

沙发【sofa]

Posted on: Mother's Day

Over the morals that came from her parents and grandparents and ayi's and shushu's?

zhen, I think this sort of thing occurs in all societies,all cultures but I don't accept that this means it has to be an inherent part of that culture,and I find it difficult to accept that these things can just be attributed to a cultural difference and that as I'm from a different culture I wouldn't understand and thus am in no position to comment.I still see the same sort of thing here.I never think it's an easy thing to address though and how one responds will I think depend on the specific circumstances and requires great tact. I think that deep down we are all fundamentally the same...same human emotions,need for parents love etc.So in answer to your question:

how do you get her to hear you and accept

...I think it comes down to this.Parents love their kids and want the best for them.If one can gently guide them to an understanding of the impact of certain words,certain sentences..of how they can be misunderstood by the child and be damaging then if they can see this can be the case I don't think any parent would deliberately hurt their kids.I think that many have just not reflected on this ,and just think it's a bit of a joke,so raising it will hopefully ,at least in some cases,give them pause to reflect on it.Of course many will not want to listen,but I think when you see the way kids can be hurt it's important to try and help.Surely we all want the best for kids and all parents need help ,myself included.Ask any new parent about how they are going to raise their newborn.They don't come with a guidebook so most parents are a little terrified at the same time as excited.Mostly they have their own upbringing to rely on.Sometimes they were not happy about hurtful things that occurred in their childhood but they have no other model to replace it with.So I think we parents all need to discuss these issues and try and see where we can improve.For me it is a lifelong education.But yeah,it is also a very sensitive area and one in which folk don't take kindly too if they feel they are being criticized,so great tact and a spirit of caring and concern is important.Never easy. :)

Posted on: Mother's Day

she is not trying to produce proof of anything and neither am I.

...and nor should either of you. I suppose what it boils down to is that when you don't have proof of something there is a limit to how much others can extrapolate from it.It's late and I'm sorry but I've gotta hit the sack and I don't have time to go and look back through this thread to work out what was being said along those lines.But just let me conclude on this. Not only does Connie not have to provide proof,but I have taken her advice on board,have the greatest respect for her opinion,and have learnt from it and am grateful for her contribution.wan an. :)

Posted on: Mother's Day

as if she ought to have come prepared with some hard data before she spoke.

...well I certainly don't see it that way.I certainly don't think she needed to come with hard data and as always value greatly her contribution.

I'm saying I don't think Connie when she came up to comment here today thought she was "offering anecdotal evidence". That's what I meant.

..ok. Well as I say I'm sorry but I was just trying to give my view on how that term is sometimes used. If I offer you my opinion on something from my experience...say ...how often people say g'day in Australia I would also view that as anecdotal evidence.I would also say this of myself if it was something that I had expertise in if I was just relying on my experience and I didn't have any data to back up my opinion.As I've tried to say before that doesn't mean it isn't worth expressing or had some merit [in many cases a great deal of merit worth noting] or should be dismissed,but I see it for what it is.In fact I quite often hear experts say this themselves also...we know this in this area from these studies..in this area we don't have any proof but anecdotal evidence shows this. I don't think it hurts to have a questioning mind and debate these things. Sorry zhen, I thought I was just clearing up your question of what was meant by "anecdotal evidence" but it seems that I have not been helpful...for that I apologize. Wan an :)

Posted on: Mother's Day

just to elaborate on the use of the word "lot". Does this mean the majority of Chinese parents use the sentence in question on a daily basis ? a weekly basis? a monthly basis?..or is it a small but significant minority? If it's the latter,does that constitute being an inherent part of Chinese culture? Is it something most wouldn't do themselves but is just accepted in others? How much thought has been given to it?

..I don't know the answers to these ,but I think they are things that can be pondered.

Posted on: Mother's Day

of course I've said already I wish more Chinese voices were being heard here

..sure,I'm always wanting to hear more Chinese voices too.That still would fall into the category of anecdotal evidence.But I'm not saying there isn't good value in that.

Of course we don't expect her to represent the entire population of China, why would anyone suggest such a thing?

..so this is why I commented zhen. I'm not disagreeing with you here. You posed the question of what is meant by "anecdotal evidence" and I just put in my 2 fen of what people often mean by that ,and the way in which I thought bodawei was using it [of course I can't speak for him and he can correct me]. There are other ways of using that expression that can be interpreted as a little dismissive but I didn't sense that here and having read many of bodawei's previous posts I have noted that he often has a bent for data and evidence and good studies and that's further why I suspected this is what he meant.But yeah,when he's online again let's hear from him.

Anyway are we to expect people to have scientific evidence, data, every time they share their view with us?

..not at all. Personally I love anecdotes and there is a lot to be learnt from them.In fact they are usually much more entertaining than studies and can be very instructive and more memorable,and in many areas of study it can still be the best evidence we have to date.But I think its reasonable to see things for what they are and understand their limitations.

Then I should never speak here should I.

For goodness sake don't say that.As you know I love reading your posts and have learnt so much from them and for that I thank you.I'm sorry if I've been offputting to you here...I was just trying to shed light on a term, that's all to clarify what I thought was being said.Much respect for you zhen.Cheers :)

Posted on: Monopoly, Uno, or Twister?

oh mate,that's deflated me...I came a respectable last..but only by a narrow margin and was very happy with that at the time,hehe. I did actually get the z and made a good score with it,but I didn't get the Q or an X,so unless there were more as you suggest I'm not so sure. Maybe I should give it another crack.

Posted on: Monopoly, Uno, or Twister?

tal,thanks for the link...great book.You do sound like quite a demon at it...not only for 你巨大的词汇量 but also for having the strategy down pat..good tips. Actually the kids have disney scrabble,so their score is doubled if they have a disney character...makes for some very large scores.

strewth,no "strewth"?