User Comments - cinnamonfern
Posted on: The Trouble with Marrying a ForeignerNovember 22, 2013, 03:21 AM
Hi Pretzellogic - I just now noticed your comment. I'm an engineer, so social science is a bit outside my area of expertise. :) But I found three articles that I thought were interesting. You should be able to read the first one but the last two require subscriptions - sorry! I didn't find much on western/Chinese intermarriage, but there may be some out there.
You should be able to access this one. It talks about a Chinese TV program about a western woman who married a Chinese man and moved to China.
This one talks about dating preferences of Asian Americans. I don't know that it can be extrapolated to Chinese people. But their conclusion is that heterosexual Asian women and gay Asian men are more willing to date their white counterparts than Asian men based on their online dating profiles.
This article basically says that white women are the most unwilling American ethnic group to date outside their ethnicity. (I guess I'm one of the few 7%.) And women of any ethnicity other than Asian are pretty unwilling to date Asian men. Here's a quote: "White females, black females and Latinas are all much more likely to exclude Asian men as dates than their male counterparts are to exclude Asian women." And another interesting quote: "However, this explanation does not shed light on...why all groups are more accepting of Asian women and Latinas over their male counterparts. Especially perplexing is that women prefer to date black men over Asian men. This is completely contrary to the claims of social exchange and sexual strategies theories that women should prefer to date men with higher socio-economic standing." Anyway, this is a pretty recent article, and from their conclusion, no one seems to have any solid reasons why American women don't want to date Asian men. Again, this isn't about Chinese men, but I think the feeling would be even more pronounced given the added culture and language barrier. One downside is these articles only speak to the bias of American men and women and not to any bias of Chinese men. Maybe there is an article out there but I didn't find it (not that I looked very long).
Posted on: Swimming CapSeptember 25, 2013, 02:25 AM
Hee hee - this lesson reminds me of my friend from China who wore a swim cap at a waterpark in the U.S. and did the butterfly stroke in the lazy river (for my non-American friends, this is a manmade river where people sit in giant inflatable rings and float around). :)
Posted on: The Trouble with Marrying a ForeignerSeptember 24, 2013, 03:18 AM
I agree - what you say is probably true. Perhaps I should have left off the academia sentence. I honestly wasn't trying to be impressive, elitist or superior. Academics are no better than anyone else, though there is a tendency toward ridiculous egos or "superiority complexes" as you put it. I apologize if I came across that way - that wasn't my intent. I was just giving some background for my viewpoint as every person's opinion is colored by their own experience. I gather from your comments that your experience is quite different. :) So you spent all your time addressing my first paragraph, which wasn't even my main point! I am disappointed as I was much more interested in your comments on the second paragraph.
I was principally trying to offer a counter explanation of the main reason for few matches between Asian men and Western women. Feelings of inferiority may be one of the issues. However, I think a lot of educated Western women who are in China, if they come in regular contact with Chinese men, it will be with men who are mostly at a similar education level to themselves (most likely through work). This is an assumption on my part as I haven't worked in China. I worked in Hong Kong and most of the guys I knew were my colleagues - I had no regular interactions with men outside that sphere. If I'd formed a relationship it would have been with one of them. So my thought was that a bigger factor may be the direction of conventional stereotypes. For Asian man + Western woman you are fighting negative stereotypes with barriers against those relationships forming. Or at least you have an absence of positive stereotypes. While for Asian woman + Western man you have more attractive stereotypes that tend to cause people to actively seek out relationships. Positive vs. negative forces. Anyway, that's my thought. I'd be really interested to hear what other people think.
Posted on: It's a Shame It's Not YouSeptember 16, 2013, 03:27 AM
Aw..I was going to bet the Fish Leong song you'd do KTV on was 宁夏 given how simple it is...but maybe it is too simple. I first heard someone sing that at KTV and I love how light and fun it is. But 可惜不是你 is also nice if a bit 'maudlin'. :)
Posted on: The Trouble with Marrying a ForeignerSeptember 16, 2013, 03:16 AM
I'm not sure I agree with Tal. I'm an academic and most of the Chinese guys I know are also academics and married to academics. Maybe it's because we're a younger generation, but I don't see the inferiority complex Tal describes. Most of the guys are very respectful of their wives and aren't intimidated by their intelligence and success. But maybe it is because they are more equals as opposed to one being superior to the other. (I also think a lot of American guys wouldn't be comfortable marrying someone who was intellectually and successfully superior to them...I don't think this is a Chinese characteristic.)
From my experience I think many Asian men have a negative view of Western, white women, thanks in a large part to our portrayal on TV and in movies. Either white women are portrayed as too brash and bossy, too picky and sensitive, and/or are not someone they'd be comfortable bringing home to meet their parents. This stereotype blindness was true for three of the cultural-Asian men I know who married white, American women (my husband included). They were quite surprised to discover that white women could be intelligent, responsible, kind people who are also willing to and enjoy eating Chinese food. :)
Posted on: Issues with FlavorJune 20, 2012, 09:37 PM
Jiǎozi tāng (饺子汤) can be tasty. It's not so bad if they are homemade dumplings because some are bound to split open, so juices and bits of meat and veggies end up in the soup. You can also pour in your extra vinegar/soy sauce you used for dipping the dumplings for extra flavor. ;)
Posted on: The Tea ScamMay 31, 2012, 02:51 AM
They got me in the tea shop...to exchange email addresses, then wanted to buy some tea. But I was suspicious asked for the menu. When I saw a pot of tea for 3000 RMB, I said I wasn't thirsty and booked it out of there.
Posted on: Looking for a Parking SpaceMay 24, 2012, 01:50 AM
I like the lessons with directions! I find 右转 and 左转 hard to keep straight when I hear them. I think most of your Ellie lessons with directions use 'turn right', but not 'turn left'. Maybe next time you could switch it up? Might be fun!